i have a new contestant with my: most probably stupid... fear of spiders... i've grown to appreciate them... but the "reality" of philo-phobia is more pronounced than ever... how much i have worked on keeping my heart a stone... i almost forget it exists... the heart... beside the pulse... i have been so... miscarried by the idealism of love... i've fallen in the IDEA of love... but not love itself... being forced to forge an identity of love through circumstance... i don't think i could ever love someone... i'll sooner spend seven years in Tibet... climb mount Ever-rest... than give my heart up to someone... commit... consecrate some sacred vows... i will not even bother to write about... how ideally: i could love... i'd love imperfectly... i'd rather write about making blackberry ice-cream (vs. gelato) and fixing up my bicycle... i know the ship has already sailed... 35... i should be 10 years shy of becoming a grand-father... does it bother me? a little... but i can't write like a teenager about to experience the tides of this great storm... like i'm some ideal exponent of the feeling... sooner or later the supposed feeling of love can become an idea... a placebo... it can be tamed with due consideration... it can be experienced... subsequently brushed aside... what equates as mind-blowing ***... doesn't require sharing a living space with the opposite ***... it obliterates the need to begin with...

oh these *******... going on about how
gelato is superior to ice-cream...
sure... when it's freshly prepared:
it's superior...
problem with the argument:
gelato is better than ice-cream...
what?! too lazy to make
           the crème anglaise?!
phonetically krem - en-glaze...
french is funny...
they write down one thing:
and say another...
oh but i do get the whole diacritical
distinction
grave e implies...
the e you add at the end of 'cream'
is a surd... plenty of surds in French...
much more than in Ing-Leash...
fraiche... at least the circumflex on
that: fresh... fraîche somehow implies
the suffix:            -sh...
even though... isch will! isch will!
    ix vill... ash łyljam...
    phonetically, of course: not that i'm:
William...
ich haben ein hertz...
gelato is in no way superior to
ice-cream...
esp.: well it's esp. less superior
when it comes to having an excess
of blackberries...
and liquid custard...
   because the storage of gelato in
conventional freezers is out
of the question...
quite simply: impossible...
the watery frozen parts emerge
when stored...
you can't freeze gelato below a certain
temp.: since... you have a...
say 2:1 proportion of milk to cream...
and no eggs...
no... you're better off making ice-cream...
it will be stored better...
gelato: on an impromptu: yes...
all the berries sing after they have
been finely sieved...
gelato is in no way superior to
ice-cream... perhaps pistachios work
best without eggs...
   i have nothing original to write...
ergo? i'm chasing sounds!
- and processing them into letters...
also dictating stylistic upfront(s)...
like... a hyphen can be conjured at
the beginning of a new: akapit:
od nowego akapitu...
            akapit:
-
-
-
-
   when one sentence ends with a punctuation
pointer akin to the exclamation mark...
[...] is still a working process.
- imagine though: ending a sentence
with a full stop...
then beginning another with a conjunction
akin to AND...
you could...
if you were to prefix a hyphen with it...
i drift off elsewhere...
   poetry like the journalistic cascade of
the column... i think i'm playing a game
of sorts...
if this can read better than
a newspaper...
             well... it can read better than
a newspaper...
even when all the editorial sections are
so unabashed... uninhibited...
from the sterile environment of
giving geographical locations to facts...
or... no facts...
i still don't know how to work around
the many dimensions of
the definite article in German...
there's only one in English...
V'eh... point: THought i...
            
     chasing sounds...
                                jagendgeräusch...
the plurality is noise
is invoked with an E rather than an S?!
jagendgeräusche?!
**** me... better strap an acute marker
on that e!
jagendgeräusché...
like my reading of the name: marquis de sade...
i read it like any ****** might:
de sadé!
not... easily acquired prefix for sadism...
sad...
olé(!)
              maybe just me, moi...
- i pity the Ing-Leash most for not manifesting
a bilingual spirit in their people akin
to the Scandinavians or the Swiss...
****'s sake... even the cricket team
is denoted with the shlang:
TOURISTS...
       they ought to be schizoid...
bilingual by now!
at least formidable with a knowledge
of the Spaniards' zunge...
no? then maybe me... solo...
               quadratic of a brainz: freese...
for the love of words
and the love of the Hebrew god:
which king Casimir noted...
   before the grand event of the choo-choo...
they walked into that trap
so readily... like lambs to the slaughter:
just to push out the antithesis
of what started it all...
the Greco-Hebrew conspiracy "theory"
to topple the Roman Empire...
believe me... i... "my" people were never part
of it...