Could I conduct you with a flute?
Could you play trombone sans a suit?
Is baton waving with my arms
Necessity for Bach and Brahms?

Would jeans or tracksuit so offend
To cause the notes to break or bend?
Do shiny shoes impact the pitch?
Do taut bow ties do aught but itch?

Could one less trumpet cause the brass
To sound too hollow, weak and crass?
Would changing colours of their strings
Impinge the sounds of violins?

Would triangles still work as squares?
Do snare drums also work as snares?
Could pins be instruments, if dropped?
Is it not time this nonsense stopped?