don't get me wrong: i like to drink... the moment when you're just about to finish a 70cl bottle of whiskey and you get the cold sweats.... i never like to drink for mere taste... to excess or nowhere... that's why i own two bicycles rather than a car... you can get away with running against a red light at a crossing... but... the love is not so rife as it might be Siberian youth who... might **** their mother for not buying them a bottle of detergent... or some cheap Romanian fakery of: perfumed animals matter... some alias i have: i don't like to keep company when drinking: i either get doubly drunk on conversation: if i'm allowed... or my mood entirely sours... and i'm sort of buying fake mortality with... imagining the contender for companionship dunking digestive biscuits into... hot milk...

i asked for a shot of Jameson and half
a pint of Guinness...
she asked me whether i wanted ol'
McFaferty: Mr Whiskers and Ms Amber
in a glass over some ice...
i said i'd much prefer it in a shot glass...
i needed to make my lips into a pucker...
****... i also ordered half a pint of
Guinness... obviously i was going to wait
at the bar for the Guinness storm to settle
and two clear layers emerge...
ha... i went to university to study chemistry...
but the best chemistry experiment
i did in high-school...
its simplicity: pinching the event horizon
of how: polyethylene is created...
or was it: polyester?
hmm... it didn't smell like an ester might

now i know there's a perfectly sound
scientific explanation...
but i still want to be in awe:
i want to be ignorant...
bluntly put... less Luddite and more:
the rustic bear...
concerning?
how... you have yourself a cold glass of:
paddy does the best whiskey...
sorry Macfarfarferry Pict...

       the Irish blend a more subtle whiskey...
the Scots: ****'s sake...
they went one step further:
smoking salmon was one thing...
inventing golf another...
but... i hate Marmite... i love liquorice...
Laphroaig...
same ****: different cover...
while the:
paddy paddy: you one-arm bandit:
care to lend me your... ******* paddle?!
create the most subtle accents of a whiskey...
sort of shy hues...
nothing... akin to what a handover ****
looks like: concentrated amber trickle...
the Irish don't like their whiskers smoked...
me too... although...
i'm a bargain when it comes to a waggling
tale of a tongue on the topic of hops...
then again: where's the mead?!
it's always funny walking into a supermarket
aisles entitled: spirits...
well... ha... plenty of... ghosts?
like me: from yesterday...
frost instead of stubble... where the Turkish
barber made sure... i'd have to scratch some stubble
off the otherwise pristine line of beard...
i'm veering off even touching *****
because: it reminds me of how the English treat it...
lukewarm... and mixed with orange juice...
sorry... what?!
so not chilled until it resembles a glucose syrup...
and drank straight... usually with a bite from
the Spanish kitchen?
ugh... unbelievable barbarians: these Ing-leashed
when drinking *****...
shouldn't you people settle for warmed up 40% ers
like warm whiskers and Brady: the Bard of:
a load of *******?
lukewarm *****... orange juice...
it's a headache...

so you pour yourself a glass of cold:
i forgot to pick up a glass...
a teacup with have to do...
and... magic... water starts to condescend...
i'm pretty sure i haven't used condescending
words... on the outside of the cup...
have you perhaps noticed...
this has a perfectly scientific explanation:
it can be explained:
but... i don't want this to be explained...
it's my own little cosmos where
i'm entertained...
why would i want to know:
how a magic trick works?
   isn't it... magic: once more?
once it has been explained and is by one:
about to be reinvented with someone
like me...
reinventing alchemy in the culinary
       department...
i don't want the sordid explanation
that might leave me: completely...
sober & diatribe... shouting at a chair:
move! van Gogh! move!
****... this telekinesis isn't working...
pet names for inanimate objects...
i call my bed...
             dreamless jezebel...
what would i call the chair i'm sitting in:
hunched like a crow a pecking
at: even i don't believe he's perusing for...
coal?! it too was thinking: a nugget of gold...
but...
it's not like gold will give you
what coal arrives at...
to prove a "point" of not being the next
to last Nietzsche "incel"...
i went to the brothel and felt happy...
one hour at a time...
just one hour at a time...
it would make sense to tempt the bisexual:
to spread one's ****...
it would make sense...
            i purposively cycle into Soho
to have the impossible happen...
gays want me...
not old queens...
my... contemporaries...
i leave the girls and... they are girls:
on the ferris-wheel...
all glitter no **** of a baby in
prospect...
why wouldn't i take up prospects
of "game" among the gay community?
it's nice to be seen to feel wanted...
even if one is the *******
plumber... sort of speak:
made: available...
but i'm not giving up my **** virginity...
so easily...
not as a moral compass trajectory...
simply...
out the the fact... if i take so much
pleasure emptying my bowels...
******* out a 12" ****...
from time to time: sometimes
**** miracles happen...
why would i want to invent in...
"ingesting" through the same wind-pipe
an agitating presence of a phallus....
or imitation?
water... gripping the outer layer of a
glass of water...
since... there's cold water & ice-cubes
on the inside...
it can be explained by science: FACT!
boring little bothersome reality...
no witch-burning...
everyone so primed and sensible and
almost English... having just invented
cricket... making the Pakistanis feel
they're the ******* Brazilians at some
sport beside fools'-feet: spaghetti twisted...
hey... here's an 11's imitation of
kicking Jupiter about...

while dogs outright bark at alcoholics...
cats... on the receiving end:
perhaps they just: expect them to: crop up...
each day i wake up and i'm reminded
of the banality of life with its lack
of responsibility: however less teased with
homosexual excuses...
but i'm happy to not have a female
counterpart that might... esteem me as nothing
but a hoarder of screws... bolts...
a shoe collection...
i'm happy to be... relieved of the responsibility
to: SPEND...
can you even begin to envision a life where:
trading one set of inanimate objects
for another set of inanimate objects
stops feeling like... this... telekinesis... ought to stop!

sorry... what the **** are we doing?
trickling down a joke
as to how... or why... a monkey deserves to be...
barbered?!
last time i heard: the Taliban was asking
all the right question...

i can see it... almost...
it would feel so great to explore... have a second coming:
first: choosing...
turning bisexual...
but i have so much pleasure from an imitation
tapeworm coming out....
that: i honestly don't feel like...
have to want: to be expected to want...
some erected: wriggly bit...
being... inserted in... for me to:
pretend not to cough...

the concept of the week... the year?
sort of... dissolved over my head
when i tried to incorporate it...
8am seems fanciful... don't you think?

i burn a candle: so as to sit on a windowsill:
in order to... see my fat head being...
found: casting a shadow on a wall...
the end...

       summer is almost over; ergo?
the moon was bound to return to the night sky
over England... well...
Essex: if the rest of England is so inclined to think
so little of Essex...
i think so subsequently less of what's
England: on offer...
petty ******* moralist junk-in-betweens...
one bemoans the placing of Essex:
once...
the rest of England?!
eh... ****** pseudos: sort of English...
sort of Bradford... Rotherham...
your *******: ******... proper... by ****-
prishtine... INGLEASH...
at some point... you might want me to care?

i want to drink and sleep: the gods granting:
i might dream!
so much for miss pretty white girl anti-racist
having one of her anti-racist ***** with
a black guy...
sorry... beside Calypso...
i don't want to **** black girls...
i don't want to be homosexual...
i much prefer the Turkish ol' raven haired...
Ottomans teasing the Caucasian womb...

you tend to "forget": something important...
living on these isles...
the anglo-saxons were a people:
were...
as an anglo-slav:
sorry... distinguish me from the Russian
BRUTE...
the serb & goat...
Islamic sorts can confuse me with
having a face of a German...
i'll allow it...
i like it...
               i lick my wounds:
there aren't any...
my ring finger my pinky are numb...
i can't clench my index to
make a proper fist...
i dream of the Faroe Isles...
           i dream of ice...
i dream of water...
i dream of fire...
no wonder...
i dream of such wants that...
i can't dream of them!
let me eat: fog.