The acoustics in my kitchen
And my obsession over burning in the shower
With the hair on my hands turning blonder by the hour.
I don't seem to get any further.
The way my mother giggles
The way my father swears
The way I'm so curse riddled, how's this supposed to be fair
But life's not fair and I've known and gotten there.
The bubbly jester, the ruthless king, the lonely queen,
So absent minded, so cruel there's something wrong within.
It's all been an illusion
A lie to keep living
A violin playing, each chord striking a disaster I'll swallow up and never look after
I have been taught so well that everything could be easily forgotten.
What's the point in sleep, I'm busy tending to myself
Accepting rejection and waiting for final refusal it hasn't been great
I tell the splinters in my feet and the dust floating
It's all a lie I whisper to them
A limbo in permanent repetition
A masterful and tactical illusion.
How many times do I have to repeat myself? The words have begun to glow on my forehead.
Throughout infinite universes, all I grasped was brain damage.