Aug 2021
Listen, I'm not trying to be a hypochondriac
But I feel like I am a bundle of undiagnosed neurosis
But the closest thing I have to prove that
Is a conversation I had with a psychiatrist about a decade ago
Who insisted that I most likely have adhd
Indeed, I mean, I feel like everyone does
Because it's just how I am, and I'm normal, right?
Despite the fact that deep down inside, I know I'm probably not
I forgot the list of symptoms that fall under the umbrella of adhd
I know it's not just a problem with focusing
I know I'm hella late to almost everything
And I procrastinate to the point that it's frustrating
but once I start the task I just can't stop until the **** thing is done so dont even ask and if it takes me ******* hours so be it I'm not leaving this spot until it's absolutely perfect, but it's not - perfect, - it won't ever be perfect, there's no such thing as perfect but this word isn't working it's not in the right spot and the syllables don't add up and what the **** am I even talking about right now I need to pick the vegetables from my garden and clean my ferrets cage but my hose is broken and that's gonna be an even bigger pain in the *** than it should, I mean I guess I could make it work but it *****......
****.... there I go again, I'm sorry
A friend of mine used to joke about how I play life on hard mode
***** I wish I could find some ******* cheat codes, it's like shoots and ladders but I always slide
Cant tell you how many times I've tried to create a routine that inevitably falls apart and
I start to berate myself
Why am I like this? I hate myself
If I could just sleep at night and seize the day, but what is there to look forward to when the sky's always grey?
Never felt more useless in my life
Trying to write my resume
I wish life on hard mode was still a joke, cause it makes life much harder when you're always broke
It's like trying to survive at the edge of the abyss when no skills of mine are on the market list, maybe if just tried a little harder to focus I could get my life straight, maybe go finish college (haha)
I just can't wait to see a doctor, wonder why that ever stopped?
Oh yeah, couldn't pay for it, so guess I got dropped.
But I feel like I am a bundle of undiagnosed neurosis
But the closest thing I have to prove that
Is a conversation I had with a psychiatrist about a decade ago
Who insisted that I most likely have adhd
Indeed, I mean, I feel like everyone does
Because it's just how I am, and I'm normal, right?
Despite the fact that deep down inside, I know I'm probably not
I forgot the list of symptoms that fall under the umbrella of adhd
I know it's not just a problem with focusing
I know I'm hella late to almost everything
And I procrastinate to the point that it's frustrating
but once I start the task I just can't stop until the **** thing is done so dont even ask and if it takes me ******* hours so be it I'm not leaving this spot until it's absolutely perfect, but it's not - perfect, - it won't ever be perfect, there's no such thing as perfect but this word isn't working it's not in the right spot and the syllables don't add up and what the **** am I even talking about right now I need to pick the vegetables from my garden and clean my ferrets cage but my hose is broken and that's gonna be an even bigger pain in the *** than it should, I mean I guess I could make it work but it *****......
****.... there I go again, I'm sorry
A friend of mine used to joke about how I play life on hard mode
***** I wish I could find some ******* cheat codes, it's like shoots and ladders but I always slide
Cant tell you how many times I've tried to create a routine that inevitably falls apart and
I start to berate myself
Why am I like this? I hate myself
If I could just sleep at night and seize the day, but what is there to look forward to when the sky's always grey?
Never felt more useless in my life
Trying to write my resume
I wish life on hard mode was still a joke, cause it makes life much harder when you're always broke
It's like trying to survive at the edge of the abyss when no skills of mine are on the market list, maybe if just tried a little harder to focus I could get my life straight, maybe go finish college (haha)
I just can't wait to see a doctor, wonder why that ever stopped?
Oh yeah, couldn't pay for it, so guess I got dropped.
