When I saw her again standing there waiting for me; I don’t know why but I didn’t expect for her to be upset. It never occurred to me that she would still be so upset from my loss.
Seeing her again was like seeing her for the first time all over again, but it wasn’t. It was so much more, there was the excitation and rush of our first meeting yet it was mingled with all the love and shared memories added in to it. It hurt cut to my heart, wrenching my insides to see even the slightest slither of pain upon her face.
We walked and we talked and joked about the old times and we acted as if everything was ok, and pretended this wasn’t about to happen. But as we sat there eating dinner at the restaurant we always over order at; I swear I was shocked by her beauty, tears loomed in my eyes as I thought, as I did the first time I saw her ‘this is the most beautiful person I’ve seen in my life’. Right then I wanted to take her hand and never let it go and as we walked back to her car and smoked our last cigarette all I wanted to do was hold her close and never let her go. But I had to; for I knew that if I didn’t, I never would. And who knows where that would have led. Either my eternal happiness, or her never ending misery. The hardest choice I ever made was to walk away from the one who never hurt me.