I am starting to understand
Why I love you so deeply
I'm starting to gain clarity
Why this isn't going to work
Why you can't meet my needs
As a phantom of the parenting
I never received
As a mirror of the disconnect
I always seek
So that I can run quickly
When you're close to me
I am seeing the pattern
Run before they can hurt you
Choose the ones that never stay
So I can stray
So I can splay
My love against my own walls
Built up in circles around me
So I don't get trapped
In the corner
Free and rushing to stay free
And I see how you
Don't work for me
But I still love you deeply
Every word I spoke to you truth
Stay far away from me
Let me love you from a distance
Let me wait until another lifetime
But you're different
Because you don't escape my mind
You're just like all the rest
Selectively choosen to test
My resolve to keep my alonesss
But the difference
Between you and them is
I really want this
I'm working hard for it now
To change my pattern
Not for you, the one I love
But for the next one I will love
Who will not fit the pattern
Because you were specifically selected
One who will not be returning
I can't expect a different answer
From a formula I planned so well