it finally hit me that he was gone when I scanned the empty room.
when I took a deep breath and realized his laughter didn't fill my lungs anymore.
when his last words to me were that he hated me.
that's when it hit me.
that's when I realized I had lost my best friend.
that I had lost the one person that knew me that most.
and when I finally learned I deserve nothing more than to be left behind by the people I love.