I used to always wait
In the dusk of the day when the fireflies were awake
Watching the last rays of the sun streak out on the sky
Thinking that she would come home again
And then walking away whenever night fell and
I was too tired to make sense of anything.

In the many times when I stood on the grass
Thinking of the many things that we would have done
It was a smile I held on my face, believing earnestly
That someday we would do all those things all together
In the warmth of each others' shadows.

Time tears the soul into parts
The drudgery of the days that I spent
Sealing away the parts of the world that I didn't want to see
Because I was a coward, still am
Taking the essence for granted.

When night fell there would be a silence
Veiled by the darkness of the evening stars
And I would lie on the ground and look at the sky
In the wake of a series of tear drops, moving
Wondering what would come to me.

So easily were the days torn away
Now it's rain after rain and the snow in the sullen earth
Pulling the strings, spring and summer and winter
The autumn light failing to shine any path
As I throw the leaves away with my feet.

She would always tell me, sometimes
That it would've been wiser to just walk away
And I know that it was the right choice, but the bad choice
So I stayed and stuck it out even through all the times
Chilling my bones and giving me frost bites
But letting me grit my teeth and bear it.

Life wastes away like that, and yet
Somehow it feels as though I have lived through a lot
The pain that grinds, the emotion and the helplessness
How time and people prepare you for that
Innocuously toying with you and saying
That everything would be okay.

I am able now, to close my eyes
Dream of the day when footsteps will sound behind me
I will turn, and after all the reveries and empty waiting
Find that someone else was waiting for me instead.