"Hello, police."

"Good morning, officer.
My name is Ashley Williams.


I am in the woods, at the end of Autumn Street.



I will be hanging myself.

Please come and get my body.




Thank you for your time."

Many years ago I tried
to leave time behind

in its hunt for the journey's end
we had forgotten the afterglows

and so we parted ways, leaving
trails of colliding sparks

only–––––––––––




–––––––––––it was I
who was left behind

When time gave up on lost causes
the wish for forever sinned.

I feel

                                                             sad


                                                                                    ––––––––––––––––

     but


                                 who




                                                      would know


                                                                                                                      why?

Coriander sprinklings and subtle tastes
as we lean together and giggle as children
exchanging nibbles and pecks of love
at the gentle lullings of our sleeping boats

And the sun would shine on our dark heads
burning our hairs and lighting the fires
echoing our laughter while we filled the earth
with eternal love that would span the sky

And all the distances would pull us apart
taking our lives this way and that
winding through the darkest routes
enshrining our happiness to the past

But we would - as always - remember well
clinging to the smells of the world
keeping our hearts closed to disruptions
but letting our confidence sway––––

And yet the world would bring us back
to hear our giggles and childish banters
taking delight at the slightest triggers
and painting lives in watercolour

So moments pass and times repeat
clear in the eye of our observers

But crimson shades and all spring scents
watch our bonded rains and shines

And for every moment I reflect
you shine brighter than luminance.

Yesterday
in the cotton folds of the black eye
a startled sentience exploded with atomicity
building up in power and decimating the dust lanes beside
as we lay in the comforts of our littlest cores

and spraying its jets across the galaxies
touching the oldest star lights beyond
crimson and aqueous in all amber echoes
crushing down our systems of eternal purity
pulling together and dissipating

for millenia distances meet by vibrations
conflicts of heart and the love of joy
rearing their ugly colours in brevity
but shattering consciousness for moments––––––––

I awoke in a dream
and
       pushing away the covers
arose

The lights dazzled me
a bright shimmer of aurora
speckles of play

Footsteps light on the carpet
parquet leaping aside
slipping down the steps

and the outside
      grasping eternity
dimmed and paled

Morbid voices and
forgotten faces
but I cannot see––––––––

and murmurs to my peace
soft touches and
distant kisses

I awoke in my dreams
and
      pulling my lovers close
went back to sleep.

Moonlight, daylight
Time in all my days
Light the fire of the hearth
Crease the wrinkles in my space

Moonlight, daylight
Hope in the sparkle of dreamland
Take me to the seams of time
How far my sight will span

Moonlight, daylight
Pull in the shores of memory
Mirror me in the ocean
Take all the weight I will carry

Moonlight, daylight
Grasp of night in sound
Eclipse my soul of division
To what chains we are bound

Moonlight, daylight
Spear the winds of spice
In my heart of yesterday
Time can wane the price

Moonlight, daylight
Speak in all ways of life
Choke on wishes of longing
We watch the sunset
in daylight.

We huddle beneath the dark curtains
psychedelic lights illuminating our walls
despite the dimmers––––––

and the silent hum of machines
whirring about outside
their blades cutting the night

day time would bring carnage
and so I prayed for light
never to come––––––––

murmurs and whispers from
solemn men whose eyes
were the only things I could see

clear blue skies inhabited
my blankest mind as we
lived our dying moments––––––––

and in the slipping warmth
the squeeze of my mother's hand
a smile and a whisper

momentary bliss
quiet and silence
before the war begins.

Imperial palaces
sweeping the landscapes for
miles beyond the eye's vision
gleaming in their perennial silhouettes
sparkling down the dies
shimmers of light rebounding off their sharp heads
piercing the sky

and the eagles
soaring round incessantly
until the clouds move to their momentum
spinning on apparent winds
grudging none their splendour
printing the ages.

Spring comes, and
woos the bougainvillaeas away
courting bees and dancing butterflies
in their own kaleidoscopes of rain
and summer would sweep the rice fields dry
washing down the cascades of eternity
tumbling into the weight of their knees
fearful just––

Mum would speak of distant memories
forgotten oceans and blinding seas
the salt on your lips and the wash of the waves
burning into the heat of the day



––and we would soak our dreams in the idleness of summer
wander the ellipses and the dunes that were lost
grinding our toes into ever cooler sand
letting them sink deeper

Lifetimes would pass in an instant of thought
flashing by prairies of dancing light
striking in our eyes in countless shades of colour
painting the sky.

Spurious words and spinning wheels
grasping the unmade road
crossing streams of deserted hinterlands
sparing no weakness

Plenty in the fork of the day
shining down like twilight
whittling down the breeze of night
and smashing up the stars

Meandering past the lazy groves
grain in corsets
musk in roses
pushing the littlest hearts
and raising their eyes to the sky
a glimpse and a glimmer
sparkle of the waters
and we were unshackled
lost

In more ways than one
you whispered in the tiniest hours
and I heard the edges of your echoes
resounding slowly and gradually
rebounding for more
filling the universe.

Sleep

I have the hallways of dawn
buried somewhere in my soul
gripping me tightly in our bonds
as we travel the stars and wandering lights
blissful and forever
spinning threads of sacrificial innocence
toying with the clouds of the earth
and pulling the effervescent strings of our universe

Paying the price for our solitude
leaving our eyes behind
settling for wings half-broken but
never letting go
and to be free–––––

Egging me on
hushed in the whispers of infinity
invisible for fragments and
tracing all others on their way
glittering terras and daylights
hiding together

Dreams
always holding my hand
all along the way

In the hazes of a distant dream land
I see you
Shrouded in the hearts of dreary dawns
Smiling

and pulling me aside you would
smell and caress me all over
a gentle wink and the lightest kisses
and the night would break the spell

On the borders of the smelting fire
A pyre awaits for the burning star
Skits on the shadows of the darker waves
Grim and tied in the locks of the hair

In the wearied low-lands of the outer earth
I see you
Spinning in the many colours of our lives
Beckoning

Child's play at the sound of the horn
Cacophonies and running home
Splintering at the daze of the day
And grinding in silhouettes

In the wake of the latest day
I see you
Eating tomorrows in the cream of love
Smiling

I watch, at the
prairie of time
the unfurling of nature
the dissertation
of saints

and in the hinterlands
a bare cry of
entrance
barred into the heavens
whispers of the world

residues
of fate and light
and devils
grieving for their
sacrifices

and slipping
into the worlds of men
the partakes in
grey barriers
and lossy colours

periphery
the ancient coliseum
the warface of dread
and acquittals of
memories

moments in time
spinning on the axle
grappling onto thoughts
and endless flows.

Several moons before
when we were still strangers
under the darkest veil of the velvet curtain
we lay dormant beside each other
whispering words of white wash
under the cover of a deceiving peace
waiting for the next shell shock.

Dizziness would rise
quickly in as the water in the brain
fizzed like soda
bursting into effervescent bubbles
lining oozing cracks
smelling like petroleum.

And then we'd rise
from our self-made graves
sprinting across no-man's land
leaping over the gorge of death
playing with the volcanoes below
and dancing snipers.

Juggling that we'd be able to
sweep through the next jungle
burn its corpses
gorge on its juices
dismembering the world

and in its infanticide the clouds
would wail in their wake
spitting contempt on our rejoicing backs
while we danced our hollow victory
and onto the coming thunders.

Days and days passed and here we are
lying in graves dug for others
watching the star trails as they pass us by
oblivious in all eternity.

Checked myself yesterday
wondered if my soul was intact
that, and the seams that hold it together
its sense and social competence
its gait and many faces
its sainthood and devillish endeavours
and all other things

Washed down everything thoroughly before
I reckoned I was ready to see you
the perfection down to the littlest detail
at least, what passes as perfection
glazing over and stopping short
of reeling and swooning at
the mere whiff of your scent

Cleared the hoops between
the long sidewalk jog of endurance
hearing the cars whisk by and wishing
that they'd give me a lift - for what seems important
that brief moment when my eyes find their sockets

The sun will rise as I
slowly make my way into the compound
find the snug spot between the walls that they
seem to have left empty for me
while I might watch from the window panes
wonder if you would look over
and pay me some attention
though often, I
pass the entire day
watching but never found

To work the night shift and spend the daytime waiting
tailing your silhouette like an empty vagrant
grasping onto nothing as the world ignores my presence
like they did always
like they did yesterday

Life speaks itself at the flicker of a lantern
bridging the gaps of the heart strings for a fraction
and then disappearing

Melting on the silence of the fireflies like
dreaming clouds of the winter
effervescent blindly

Life spearheads itself into the deepest chasms
watchful for the oncoming spurts of unknown
and frightful always

Whispering on the darkness of watchers
whisking down the road of the past
coloured dark blue and grey

Life has passed me by like time
crawling along at its own providence
harming no one

Light petals flowing off the creek
And gentle breezes whipping through our hair
Watching the idle clouds smile at us
And lull us as time sleeps on

Grasping the stars the moment they appear
Sparkling in their early sunbath and laughing otherwise
Greeting us in careful glimpses
Mesmerising so

Days we spent dreaming of the oceans
And wandering our boundless expanses
The horizons and the sights
Soothing as always

Spring water ebbs
      slow floating towards the end
           and such gentle whispers
                 empirically so–––

Streets lined with confetti
Cheering crowds waving flags
Delighted squeals of the young child
Even destitutes on holiday
And the sun burning its merry way on the sidewalks

Ascent of the podium
Big bow to everybody
More cheers
Slogans read: long live the hero
Happy days to come
and, no one shall stand in our way

The people hush
they quiet as the microphone moves closer
a smile:

I am no hero

––a pause––a cheer––

I am no hero

––another pause––no cheers––

There is no glory in killing
no honour in ending a life
that could have gone on to be so much more
a person who
had their own hopes
dreams––––––––––

––all is quiet over the square
and the sun continues to shine––

––––and people who loved them

There is no joy
in dealing pain
––and pain that never heals

––––silence––––




––a child cries––


a pain that is my pain
a pain that never goes away
a pain of hearing the last words of someone
who could have easily been your friend
your neighbour
your teammate
your best man
your brother––––

They always say: tell them... I love them
and who shall carry out this task?
the one who slew them?

––––––––––––––––––––

so I keep it with me
forever, and perhaps in time
someone will pass it on

––––mostly they stay ungiven
until this generation passes
and that unhealing pain follows us away
and then we go on over and over again

So I don't think that we should say
that we are heroes today
we are no heroes
we are only survivors
victims of a dying breed
and ebbing slowly.

––––a silence––––

The sun continues to shine.

These days the moon seems unnaturally bright
Its amber angels bashing eyelids towards me
and how the snow litters the ground to the southern valley
mirroring the sky––

The glittering ocean of white speckles
Tickling our noses as we quietly pass them by
treading the moonlight frost for moments
and letting them thaw in our footsteps

The fleet-footed page boy of the ascent rivers
Glimmering by like a star-lit heaven
sidelines of the arena we watched together
as the planets guided our way

Freer than ever from the rising corals
Hovering in the midst of our winter day
lining our worlds and their fading corpses
crests in our never ending stories

Dawn breaks too early in the silent north
Its frozen statues flashing merry tinkles at me
heading alone outward for some lighter horizon
whispering every step–––

I hear
Lamentation

They would always start the chants by daybreak
Waking me from my already-light slumber
Allowing me to rub my weary eyes for moments
Before the deep chime of the bell signalled daylight

I could never understand
their devout worship
as they fell on their knees
murmuring words unheard to me

But somehow there was something about the air
Perhaps it was the incense always lit at the altars
Maybe it was the quiet drone of their prayers
Other times it must have been the sight of nature

Years and years I spent in its hallways
Always longing for the world outside
Dreaming for the odd heaven-sent journey
That would sometimes come flying my way

Now I have different dreams
Shown to me in elusive conical shades
Driving the roots of every reverie
Deep into my very core
Flashes of other years
Distant images unknown to me
Illuminated by every hue and colour
Lulling me gently

But what it is to dream differently
Yearn for the silence in the world
Creeping up to us on dusk
Sweeping apprehension

Finally I returned home
Dropping all my weight
Pressing my forehead over
to breathe.

Breaking open the doors of the monastery
Letting the sun creep through the cracks in the stained glass
Wondering at the beauty of the day and its deep blue sky
Greeting all sentience

Turning around and watching you always
Gentle breezes whipping your hair about as you
Danced in the rain of sunlight dabbling on the prairie
Vast meadows enchanting the playground of life

And then waiting for the moonlight to come
First dyeing the clouds an eclectic rainbow of turrets
Dire for moments and then lucid to its core
Heating the world for fragments––

Listening all night to the beating of the homecall
Driving universals home
Breathing in the shimmers of the universe
And letting it melt in your eyes

Every memory held in the world
Playing on the cloths of time
Weaving softly on our kaleidoscopes
Mirroring every step––

Tell me stories
of a honey-coloured love
Time immemorial
and sweetly scented doors

Fine me heartaches
in the absence of the stars
Gazing forever
through the silence of descent

Urge me gently
on the road of reveries
Rising dawns
in the howl of morning bees

Miss me terribly
from the quiver of your lips
Haunted softly
by the touch of kind strangers

Watch me tenderly
of thoughts in dreary days
Fondly forgetting
our many silhouetted ways

Every yuletide it comes the time
under the blanket of nirvana
where I remember you for brief flickers
in the light of better days