starting is the hardest part
although ending is never easy,
i remain firm in my belief that starts are harder than finishes
how do i break my mind and move my hands?
teach me how to dance, teach me how to talk,
teach me how to walk again
move my legs for me and bend my fingers around the bottles
imprint them with your own personal brand,
and walk fast
push me ahead and tighten your fingers around my shoulders
i i  i i i i i i i i i i
i’m always talking about myself,
so tell me about yourself, if you will
i don’t want to know
but one never wants to know when they propose that question
they want to fill the long silence with something besides toe-tapping and nervous sips of cheap wine in a pretty bottle

and can you blame them?
long silences are like cinder blocks on the chest
the sooner you can crack them and mold them into something that passes as beautiful the better

and what other subject do we know better than ourselves?
let your words carve their way into the blocks
and find their caricature
they won’t reach my ears, or god forbid, my head
but that’s alright talk anyways
and i’ll blabber words i don’t understand and feel un-uniqe things

i’m not special, i’m just one in billions
infinity goes on and i blend right in

i can’t allow myself to make typos anymore, or say wrong things
because now i’m normal
normal normal normal no more repetition for me thanks

and i don’t want to be anymore i want to be ill and disgusting and pathetic

i’m a selfish ******* and i hate every bit of it