Jul 2021
Hi.
I don't know why I just felt like writing to you today. It's 4:39 AM, and it's funny how I just re-read the last conversation we had, even though the only thing left is what you said.
Well, I'm writing to say that I've finally healed. I can finally say this, that I've completely healed. And with this, I wanna say (from the bottom of my heart) that I'm sorry. I said plenty of hurtful words that you don't deserve. You've been kind to me, you were there when I needed someone to listen, you became a friend to me. A true friend, and what did I give back in return? Pain. There's no enough sorry to remove the sins I did to you. I'm still bothered by what I did actually. I kept saying to myself that that's the only way that I can forget, but it's funny how up until now I can't forget. Maybe it's karma for me. That I can't forget a person that made me feel special. So, I apologize once again.
It's really funny how after six months there's still no changes in my life. I'm still stuck in my room. The words I said before, like how I would like to talk to you again after six months, I was hoping that my life would be better. But yep, after six--no seven actually, I still am here, stuck. And I still can't trust other people, and the person I've thought when I'm not okay and I'm in a fight with my bf, is you. You're the only friend I've considered in this life. But, I hope that soon I can meet other people who I can trust the same thing as how I trusted you.
And I also wanna say, even though it's ironic and hypocrite of me to say, that I hope you're happy. I hope you're smiling. I hope you have someone to tell your small and trivial things again. From the very bottom of my heart, I hope you're smiling genuinely. And I hope those people you trust and keep won't betray or leave you.
I don't know why I just felt like writing to you today. It's 4:39 AM, and it's funny how I just re-read the last conversation we had, even though the only thing left is what you said.
Well, I'm writing to say that I've finally healed. I can finally say this, that I've completely healed. And with this, I wanna say (from the bottom of my heart) that I'm sorry. I said plenty of hurtful words that you don't deserve. You've been kind to me, you were there when I needed someone to listen, you became a friend to me. A true friend, and what did I give back in return? Pain. There's no enough sorry to remove the sins I did to you. I'm still bothered by what I did actually. I kept saying to myself that that's the only way that I can forget, but it's funny how up until now I can't forget. Maybe it's karma for me. That I can't forget a person that made me feel special. So, I apologize once again.
It's really funny how after six months there's still no changes in my life. I'm still stuck in my room. The words I said before, like how I would like to talk to you again after six months, I was hoping that my life would be better. But yep, after six--no seven actually, I still am here, stuck. And I still can't trust other people, and the person I've thought when I'm not okay and I'm in a fight with my bf, is you. You're the only friend I've considered in this life. But, I hope that soon I can meet other people who I can trust the same thing as how I trusted you.
And I also wanna say, even though it's ironic and hypocrite of me to say, that I hope you're happy. I hope you're smiling. I hope you have someone to tell your small and trivial things again. From the very bottom of my heart, I hope you're smiling genuinely. And I hope those people you trust and keep won't betray or leave you.
