an overwhelming sensation: like falling...
but more alike to it being
a flowing: of perpetually
undermining of one's integral concern
for "honour": or at least keeping one's
word...

not so much the fear of death:
but a fear of failing in one's attempt
to be wed to it:
beyond the fears of a petty life -
to throw the concerns of the living
to those alive -
all the while... feeding into...
an ******* transcendence of the pursuit
of shadows...

to have the ego **** you:
while still maintaining a
flimsy veneer of normality...
all this pretending
while the mind boils and froths and
bamboozles you:
easier to "think" in third person?

- throwing a glass into a pool of water
"thinking" that it might somehow
disappear...

if one cannot live honourably...
or to live, so... without as much
as a reputation of a plumber to speak of...
what trade... wordsmith?
better to not live at all:
unburden with love...
                                less chances
of passing the day... talking about the weather.