I'll be looking forward to the day you walk away.
To the day I can finally scream in your face.
The night I'll cry myself to sleep..
That should go on for a few long weeks.
Until we reach the 21st week we'd officially not be together.
The morning cries will stop but somehow, however,
your face, your touch, and your tender kiss will be burned into my mind, soul, and body.
Because I love you, and when you leave, I will miss you..
So much it'll practically **** me
to see
your beautiful face in the hallway.
Or your strong warm arms around her; acting as if we never meant anything.
But to me, we were everything.
From what I said before, I'm sure you're a bit confused..
And, baby, I would love to enlighten you..
But I just can't seem to muster the words to say...
Nothing. Because you are not worth my anger or my poetic word.
You aren't worth my tears.
And though losing you I fear,
I refuse to come sprinting after you when your pretty face decides to walk out of my life, forever.
I may love you but there are some things I just can't do.
That I just won't do.
Because you see, I'm hurting.
I'm hurting so bad.
And the only reason I would be glad
to see you leave
is so that this pain will stop taking over me.
These tears, they cut like razor blades and
as they flow they're washing our memories away
so they stain.
These tears, they stain, and for the first time in a very long while
I think I might be going insane because
everytime we fight, I am to blame and
I'm sitting here hoping that these razor blades pouring onto my cheeks will carve away my shame.
'Cause baby the fact that,
I L O V E Y O U,
just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.
And when I say,
I M S O R R Y,
you just shrug it to the floor.
'Cause you know, it would never occur to you that when you act this way, it kills me
and this silence
is deafening.
You think you're so in control.
And maybe you are but there's no need to take advantage.
'Cause i'm l-l-losing myself in this moment, this poem, and baby I just want you to know
you're beautiful.
And maybe I don't deserve someone like you..
But even if I don't I still shouldn't have to take
this heartache.
You know as well as I do how easy this heart is to break
but
it's still beat-beat-beating strong in my chest because
at the end of the day I guess
there's nothing much I can say to you.
Because everything in this poem you already knew.
And I am so tired and I am so scared.
Because I feel that the end is coming soon and it seems I'm the only one who cares.
But tell me baby, can you bare
to see me walk away?
'Cause I remember on the phone I know I heard your voice shake.
And I know I heard you hesitate
when you said you weren't so sure about us..
But maybe that's just my wishful thinking at it's best.
So tonight as I lie down to bed,
I'll think of you.
Even though you don't want me to.
I'll be waiting, dreading, fearing to greet those 21 weeks of misery.
Pure misery,
with you as it's company.