i dont get why people talk to me? im so anti social. i may be nice or friendly, but once i think we're good friends and i try to hang out with just me& you or just text you, i know you'd rather be doing something else then talking to me because i **** conversations. i'd rather sit by myself then have to carry on a conversation. i dont have any ambition, i've made so many mistakes. i try to make things right but nothing works. no talent, no grace. i dont get why people call me their friends or enjoy talking to me, because i wouldnt. yes, some nights i need that 1 person to just talk to, but even though i hate messaging first, i still do it. even though i know the conversation wont last long after that, i still continue to press send. the dumb stuff i've done and been through is crazy. im not surprised how i lost a ton of friends. i feel like everything needs to be about me, some histrionic **** thats what it is. i cant deal with this. now that i know, it actually bothers me even more.