i’m overthinking again
shedding enough tears
to fill up my half full water bottle...
half empty water bottle...
half of whatever i’m feeling for the day
half adventurous mixed with lonely
i’m thinking of texting my boyfriend
but maybe it’s not the right time
i’m hiding out inside four walls
five hundred square feet of emptiness inside my heart
and five hundred square feet of emptiness inside my studio apartment
i lie in bed
staring above me
i make pictures out of the popcorn chipped ceiling
and on special occasions i can hear a loud car engine speed by
giving my ears something new to gravitate to
my eyes are blind to life sometimes
and my brain is as well
sometimes i don’t know whether or not to double my dosage
or to just **** myself