i've talked to arrogant thieves in the night...
one always stands out in particular...
bemoaning his fate as a short man
that he has a child with a woman and the woman
is playing double-jeopardy with her life
on his emotional violin...
she was this | | close to meeting her fate
of kissing death...
he told me about working in a Paris zoo...
we both loved Paris it seems...
i said i'd give my heart brains and at least
one ******* to be a painter in that city
come the turn of... the 19th century entering
the 20th...
i even asked him to stand a few steps above
me so we could speak as equals...
on the same day that i stood like marble
at my grandfather's funeral...
his own, my uncle... i drink... i drink irresponsibly...
but this spineless...
ah... forget it...
chewing gum while the coffin is lowered into...
too much detail...
me and ol' Joseph: the hyenas of the graveyard...
i don't know why we didn't bother walking
in parks...
we cycled together...
         went fishing...
we walked... talked... walked some more...
after all... while my actual father was elsewhere
for the labour-brain-drain in the Vest...
from the age of 4 through to 8...
there was this man...
the drunken... rationaliser of... metallurgy...
at a once... booming metallurgy plant
in a city in the satellite state of the soviet union...
at the end of it though...
crass poker on behalf of his son and his wife...
i felt the full brunt of it from his daughter...
my mother...
i'm almost thankful that my father is a...
quasi... no, wait... pseudo orphan...
he knew who his parents were...
they were still alive...
he was raised by his father's mother
and stepfather...
his mother... blah blah...
he doesn't go into details... i don't know them:
ergo i won't go in them either...
ol joseph though...
who remembered the SS-men stationed
in the city: who would run up to them and implore:
herr! bitte-bon-bon... on recount...
with his punctuation...
there really was a Herr Bittebonbon...
and the soviet soldiers who preferred to sleep
in barns with the animals...
don't ask me whether they also liked to ****
some hairy goat ****...
time will not tell...
came death: that impasse...
if i talked with thieves in the night...
outrageous as they are: thieves...
they tend to boast...
i suspect i've come across a murderer or two...
not that they would gloat in boasting about
their misdeeds...
after all... it's not that a thief is somehow stupid...
but a murderer has to be smart...
he can't just gloat about his deeds...
after all... "something": seriously, ******* "missing"...
no?
best with prostitutes...
if i had a wife and children...
and decided... eh... this one 20 year old will:
freshen me up...
i never use acronyms...               w.t.f.!
some agony aunt in the sunday times
column of the style magazine was replying
to... a "real life event" of a girl: god bless her...
only 20, 22, 24 springs into her gallop
and she's already...
doing this ******* swindling...
because you know that prostitutes have committed
all the impossibly: worst crimes of all...
most probably associated with...
short outbursts of loving someone...
making them feel... somehow... welcome...
unlike talking to a thief who needs
to stand two steps above to speak as equal...
of the 3Ps... priests, psychiatrists, prostitutes...
i'll second the last...
we can at least speak in body...
we can exchange the expected norm of
36.5°C...
             she will barely speak a word of English...
i'll barely speak a word of Romanian...
but... somehow... ochi and oczy match up...
to hell with dating... and the women of:
"expectation": and their decry of dried up attention...
of being... aargghh!
here you go... the barbarian: yawlp... or whatever word
is used in the dead poets society...
n'ah... that's not going to cut it...
O-DIN...
             it has to come from the realm of syllables...
it can't be a a single sound... aye for i...
GARAN-DU!
there must be a slingshot emphasis on some vowel
that might extend the breath!
DA-MI!
                         ergo is a terrible example...
added the fact that... well... katakana (which i will
use)... doesn't exactly use vowels as...
anchors... prefi-                 -xed...

(ha ha... said?)

ah mein gott:
                 what three years feels like without a woman...
not i'm thinking about cutting down
on my drinking and smoking just to give
that Turkish girl all her thrills...
in the company of 4 other prostitutes...
it's a lot easier to break a man down...
all the curves...
all... she had to tease with her *****, though...
although... she looked as much Turkish
as i look ******* Thai...
more... Indian subcontinent...
but to hell with it... anything that moves...
quisquam movet quad...

come to think of it... a "dysfunction of *******":
Sherlock! it was there for a minute...
then it passed... i wasn't in the mood...
i started to pretend to chop my head from
my torso imitating: i drank too much...
there was that: too much GOGA - *****:
in this case... too much ms. amber with whiskers...
or ms. amber nee bourbon...
because i was puking and *******
like mad being hijacked by... nervousness
of being naked and staging mime hands
reading braille of a body with someone
i wasn't intimate with...

   are men supposed to be these... *******...
duracell bunnies: ready on the word go?
all of a sudden... am i supposed to walk around
with a hard-on 24/7... i can... just... switch it on?
flick! hey presto! whittle richard sings his standard...
i checked... she wasn't exactly gooey
mozzarella in her department, either...
i was somewhat exhaust... she was clearly coming down
from a ******* binge...
a welcome break...
but why is it circumcision: fair...
but female genital mutilation...
i'll fold the sheath and...
i too was expecting a Trojan cohort to **** her brains
out...

but if she's not wet... salivated my middle and ring
finger while she attempted to coerce me to hard
for her to then sit on me wholly rodeo...
no... she wasn't in the mood either...
plus i drank too much...
enough excuses...

like the younger sister of an ex- i used to date
remarked: matthew... always dressed in
the colours of the earth...
to match up with the colours of my eyes...
give me the greens, the auburns... the ambers...
i'll walk around camouflaged
like the zebra hasn't seen anything
of man's writing ability...

that William Blake itching of a sketch that's probably
a painting of the ***** of Babylon
riding a torso with multiple splitting of the heads...
so much allure in metaphors...
who's who... nobody's due...

always with these women...
3 years sober from any major contact
and once it happens...
i'm ballistic prone to itch out...
i need more... i need...
to eat with my eyes and scrape with the tips of
my fingers... all these... seemingly...
inedible... body-parts...
thighs... that floral fleshy oysters of ****...
the grooves of collar-bone...
the piggish cartilage of the ears...
the lips like lying watermelons:
we're salty! we're salty!
eyes as labyrinths...

all that two bodies can becomes
in terms of metaphor akin to a bowl
of spaghetti...
**** me, double **** me i'm so "happy" i could
almost end it, right now...

if the yin is "somehow" the negative of what's:
essentially life...
while the yang is... also... "somehow" the positive of
what's: essentially life...
of the latter... the workers...
the farmers...
so much focus on...

HOW... the ying provides all the HOW...
you can be sure to know...
& "know"...
how to grow vegetables... how to...
maintain livestock...
how to construct buildings...
but for all that scary vacuous space in between
the constellation of stars...
the YIN and WHY...
most probably... cognitive-fudge-packaging...
or... dipping sardines in... fudge-packaging antics...

for all the HOW and most certainly
all the sense it makes...
that bollocking riddle of the YIN
and why... there's stalling and there's bureaucracy
and... i'm in the middle of it...

if only everything was Buddha-calls...
the shallowness of the WHY though...
why: a study in the meaning of life...
the meaning of life? live...
let's see what comes just before death
and that question of: after...

       democratically one will never really focus
on "reality"...
only snippets of: v.i.p. / solipsistic screening...
and that's always a long-shot:
someone else is always, always going to
come around with a... re-****-al...
phonetically, "properly":
       oh... look... i spelled it corrected...
to hell with the hyphens... rebuttal...

oculus per oculus...
               as much as i'd like to be a father...
mutter tod...
tender her embrace...
with her daughters...
she might have wrinkled her eye...
twitched... i was about to show her why
i'm the only son without ties
to the Chinese one-child state policy...
Cherry.. Cherry... noble... cherry nobly...
Chernobyl...
          
był: i was... (masculine)...
była: i was... (feminine)...

      and... these people who want a grammatical
revolution in this: dear language...
are facing...Trojan wall impasses?
english nouns do not encapsulate ***...
you can stretch it with: moon being an implication
of feline... feminine...
the sun being masculine...

for all the need of HOW...
stumbling on the shallow ground of WHY:
eat more cauliflower...
why... more of these... brusselsprouts?
how? after a while it has become automated...
complicated at first...
but once the complications are other...
the momentum of replication takes over...
there's still the how: our how, our why...
to compete with nature's
slumber come autumn, frolicking come spring...
****-festivity in summer...
a near-death like experience surrendering
under winter...
the tetragrammaton has only 4 letters...

a god of the hebrews... my allegiance is riddled
with biases...
because the Palestinians gave my mind
nothing to think of...
the 'ebrews most assuredly did...
have...

           if Spinoza was alive...
and knew about the existence of the state of Israel...
if i came across... that donkey-jockey that
was... Ba'laam...
diviner no diviner... blah-lah or: all? ah!
emirate money spun the monkey wheel to
no end... arabs entertained mythological blondes
while i took to raven haired bulgarian / romanian /
turkic  lasses...
because it suited me best...
if i were ever a father a figure in the making
on the basis of my own father:
no...

a a... punctuaction pause:
"so-called" diacritical markers...
"so-called" imitation latin pompousness
of having: none of them!
when i smile:
i like my teeth to... breathe!
happy? savvy?
to hell with all these high status...
"unfathoamble"...
"unattainable"... "holy grail":
if a mongol horde came between your
ego and your tight
(tightening of thighs)...
you wouldn't be singing this...
sweet... dirge... would you?

give me some Turkic ***...
some Bulgarian asset...
        
i will never pander to the most pandered
slot of crux counter remidee...
to show my teeth against the wind:
"against"...
    forward...
******* by reiteration ******...
in the pop culture of h'america...
no....
**** on this sort of ****... ******...
*******... whittle h'american niqab...

hell with you: Italiano: miss scab!
i waited and i waited...
now come those ******* tattoos of
good will hunting...
i: of the we: a people...
never allowed ourselves to congregate...
to solve: to dissolve "issues" via...
mafia...

******* spaghetti fiddlers...
Greek "tacos"...
Mediterranean...
one's superiority complex
thrice undermined...
gives me...
puncture wounds established...
piglet farm... rats...

o.k... bacon sizzled...
but you're still... Borgia *** antics:
disinhibited...
pope no pope... savvy?
my tongue is more liberal than that of Luther...
but you think you can...
trade ideas in these Hyperborean lands...
fricko? gratis?

perhaps the English don't mind:
then again: who doesn't mind
the English classical liberal... "mind"...
beside... an ***-**** of... the folding empire...
champion atheist...
champion darwinist...
       great Ben been locked...
for hours on end... since Edward:
it would seem...

don't **** with me when i'm hard-on
on defence: markers!...
i'm not suppose to: but i will...
although my fetish for deutsche-spreschen is overpowering...
King Sas...

the end... good night.