In middle school I desperate to in fit but still be myself. I had a crush on a popular girl who eyes were turquoise. I sat next to her in my clarinet section for 7 years. I wrote her letters until I gave up on the hope of her writing back. We had art class together. When I gazed into her eyes, I saw a good person. I am a softie for good people.
I watched her YouTube videos. I accidently Facebook stalked her. I had an obsession with this girl. My obsession was once about getting into a popular group then turned into genuine caring for her.
I saw her at college once she blushed when I glanced at her. I had dreams about her from middle school to high school. In high school I stopped caring about fitting in and just stayed myself. I figured I rather not change my personality to fit into a group that I know barely anything about. Yes my best friends were always the nerds. I didn't care about the status quo and I hated the drama that would occur with popular people which was everyday. I preferred the company of my friends. Sure there was some drama every twice a month. It was what I could handle. Being academically gifted didn't mean we nerds weren't impartial to dealing with anxiety and depression. It would take me forever to count how many of my creative friends deal with social anxiety. It's common to have to deal with anxiety.