i know that everyone has regrets that they pass off like nothing
but what i didn't know, however,
was just how much i would regret

leaning into your body to giggle at your dumb jokes
tucking my head into your shoulder as you'd make fun of me
falling into your embrace you'd surprise me with

and just how much i would miss
smile
when your eyes met mine
when your skin grazed mine
as your lips crushed mine

i should have known that i should have
kissed you all night
refused sleep until the sun kissed the sky
curled into the warmth of your body

if i had known
that we were set on a clock
that counted down
and expired us,
smothered the embers
which never fully came alight

because i walk along the burning coals
thinking how i never kissed you goodbye.
the embers that burn dimly
still ache, still yearn,
though yours burned out
before i even knew it.