TW: suicide

I don't want to die
I don't want to live
Not if it means
This cycle of hate and shame and fear and empty
Repeated with reprieves
Only to start again
Halting life, spoiling love
Spoilt
Spoiled
Ruined
Rotten
Rank
Gut the festering system
Start fresh
Such a fatal design flaw
No warning light
No hard reboot
Just life
And death
Here
Or not
Suicide
Or suffering
There's nothing fair in it
Nothing human about it
I don't want it
Not the pain
Not the shame
Not the guilt
Not the life
Not the death
Give me peace
Give me reprieve
Give me space to breathe
Give me him and I'm happy
Give me hope and I'll ruin
Everything dies
I'm not okay.
It's not okay.
It will be.
But it's not yet.
And it's shameful to say.
To feel. To know. To burden.
How is suicide an unnatural death
When mind decides and mind is flawed
Rid the problem
Pain ends
Ended
Stopped
Over
Peace
Quiet
Reprieve
Relief