how can i smile
when i was only taught
how to cry.

how can i breathe
when i just want to die.

how can i live a life
that terrifies me to,
when there is already
fear
lodged deep into my brain.

how am i supposed to care
when im swinging side to side.
from the tight grasp of rope
around my neck.

how can i laugh
when my screams
are suppressed by the water
invading my lungs.

how can i love
when i have loved before,
but resulted in me
uncapped the bottle
and finding salvation
in capsules of death.