There's a beating

down in my heart

and painful butterflies

in my stomach.



I worry that this

could be the

Beginning

of a repeat.



You watch my shows like him.

You play guitar like him.

You are awkward like him.

You could hurt me like him.



This heart,

well it's not ready

for another time

where sleep is sweet relief.



I don't want to wake up

and see you tomorrow

because it could be

one step closer.



Don't be him-

that's my plea.

My heart cries out

"Not again."



Before you hurt me,

tell me when.

Don't let me blindly

fall in love.



So let me know

even if it hurts

and I'll walk away

new and broken.



When you get a new bruise

it hurts to be touched.

I have one on my heart

that I must protect.



Is this how it goes?

The heart gets wounded

so it pretends not to care

so it deflects any blows.



Because if nothing touches,

nothing can hurt.

And if nothing can hurt

then it might be all right.



Should I tell you now

all the scary truths?

That I'm messed up and broken

and may never be right.



I have scars upon my skin

that I am afraid for you to see.

Will you turn away?

Will I no longer be beautiful?



I have scars upon my soul

that I am afraid for you to know.

Will I be to broken?

Will I no longer be worth the trouble?



I've been bruised and battered

like an old castle door.

The ramparts have been different,

but always there.