Apr 2021
4/26/21
Dear Mike,
Do you still love me? Because when you said you wouldn't have enough time for a relationship, and that it was unfair to me, I believed you. It was difficult as first, but I started to move on, and get better. I was happy and felt as if I could handle a relationship. But then I found out that you had a new girlfriend. And it broke me. I was upset, confused, and sad. I didn't understand how you could make time for her but not for me. I thought to myself, "Why am I not good enough? How and why is she better than me?" And then I found out that she wrote a book, and that hurt even more, because you know that I write.
And the more I think about it, the more I realize that the breakup was one-sided. You broke up with me, and I convinced myself that it was mutual. So now I'm sitting here thinkng, was she one of the reasons we broke up? Did you not want to be with me anymore? And Mike, did you ever try to reach out to me? Because I don't think you did. At least, it doesn't feel like you did. And what hurts even more is that I still love you. And if you asked me to be your girlfriend, I would say yes without any hesitation. I didn't get any closure, and so far, all it's done is hurt me. I still keep the polaroids in a box under my bed, along with everthing else that I wrote for/about you, and the matching anklet. Do you still wear yours? Or did you throw it away when you started dating her? Do you still keep out the painting that I made for you? Do you wish deep down that you still had a picture of us together?
Or do you regret dating me? Do you regret loving me? When did you move on? Was it easy? Or did you cry yourself to sleep most nights? Is she a rebound, or do you really love her? Did you talk about your future together like you did with me? What about the wedding, or baby names, or where you two would live? Did you talk about college with her, and how you would stick together through it all? Because I know that we talked about all of those things. I remember all of those conversations. I remember when I got a panic attack and we went on a walk in the middle of the night and played with lego figurines and ate goldfish and slept on your trampoline. I remember when I would start crying and you would just hold me. I remember how deeply in love we were. Do you?
I'm thinking about publishing my poetry, by the way.
Love, Em
Dear Mike,
Do you still love me? Because when you said you wouldn't have enough time for a relationship, and that it was unfair to me, I believed you. It was difficult as first, but I started to move on, and get better. I was happy and felt as if I could handle a relationship. But then I found out that you had a new girlfriend. And it broke me. I was upset, confused, and sad. I didn't understand how you could make time for her but not for me. I thought to myself, "Why am I not good enough? How and why is she better than me?" And then I found out that she wrote a book, and that hurt even more, because you know that I write.
And the more I think about it, the more I realize that the breakup was one-sided. You broke up with me, and I convinced myself that it was mutual. So now I'm sitting here thinkng, was she one of the reasons we broke up? Did you not want to be with me anymore? And Mike, did you ever try to reach out to me? Because I don't think you did. At least, it doesn't feel like you did. And what hurts even more is that I still love you. And if you asked me to be your girlfriend, I would say yes without any hesitation. I didn't get any closure, and so far, all it's done is hurt me. I still keep the polaroids in a box under my bed, along with everthing else that I wrote for/about you, and the matching anklet. Do you still wear yours? Or did you throw it away when you started dating her? Do you still keep out the painting that I made for you? Do you wish deep down that you still had a picture of us together?
Or do you regret dating me? Do you regret loving me? When did you move on? Was it easy? Or did you cry yourself to sleep most nights? Is she a rebound, or do you really love her? Did you talk about your future together like you did with me? What about the wedding, or baby names, or where you two would live? Did you talk about college with her, and how you would stick together through it all? Because I know that we talked about all of those things. I remember all of those conversations. I remember when I got a panic attack and we went on a walk in the middle of the night and played with lego figurines and ate goldfish and slept on your trampoline. I remember when I would start crying and you would just hold me. I remember how deeply in love we were. Do you?
I'm thinking about publishing my poetry, by the way.
Love, Em
