When I was younger I used to think,
When my ovaries were on the blink,
I'd revel in the fact that I was free,
Less time for periods, more time for me.
No more evenings spent alone
Because Liverpool were playing at home.
Now menopause is here to stay,
I wish my monthlies never went away,
New wrinkles appear,
Sweats and hot flushes,
My bladder requires
Pees in bushes.
My locks are lank,
****** hair runs free.
But God is a woman.
Proof? HRT.