what if i do feel something
when i sleep?
should i just wait for it?
what happened to me?
i need to fix it
and i don't know how
and now i'm just remembering
how you never told me anything
and how i thought i wanted you
what a fool i was

that leads me on to point two
the one where i meet him
the one where i thought that i love him
and i wanted him so bad
until i got him
then i didn't
and i don't know how that happened

then we just keep running the track
of guilt
keep thinking of all of the times
that i just leave my messages
because god forbid i look at them
what if i get into an actual conversation?
what do i do then?
and around and around i go
chasing my own guilty tail
because i had time on my hands
to think about all the ways i've failed you

i hope you read this and smile
sweet confirmation i always needed
that i was never ******* enough for you