What is this thing buzzing around my ears?
I twist and turn but I don't see what it is!
I hop and swat and growl in frustration,
At this imperceivable persistent pest, this irritation!
It hums in my ear just when I'm drifting to sleep,
Whispering of longing three-thousand miles deep,
It reminds me of days in the sun, laughter, festivals, and fairs,
Music and movies, incense in the air...of days when you were there.
If I manage to rest it's even worse, I'll dream you're scared and lost,
That you're in danger or hurt, my search finding only blankets tossed.
Deceptive day lets me think I'm okay, then sun gives way to rain,
Stifling heat or razor-sharp chill, only strife matters, every breath is pain.
A black hole in my heart, an elephant on my chest, a grim guard dog,
Every face in every crowd might be yours, I seek a drop of water in fog.
I check up once every few years on the book of faces,
You look happy and well, so at least my fears are satiated.
Long and short, every moment is happy and sad, relaxed and stressed,
Darkness and light at once, I guess that's life when one is depressed.