I toss & turn.

At an hour nobody else's eyes are open,
my bed shakes me awake
& I sit up gasping for air, sick, heart-aching.
The thin speckled sheets are ripped off from on top of me.

The pale walls rattle
but there is no train or earthquake.

The Christmas lights flicker off & on
while bulbs burst,
glass dispersing everywhere.

The window flies open
allowing the rain to come pouring in, flooding.
The wind blowing the pale blue curtains about.

I think I am being haunted
by the ghost of you
and you aren't even gone yet.

My stomach turns
as I replay a conversation
not yet to be had.

Let me go...
Let me let you go...