Stop worrying.
I know I'm destroying myself for you
let me.
.
Believing all the lies
just because I wished they were true.
sitting in the bathtub, staring at my scars
seeing how my ribs poke out just for you
cortisol in overdrive.
Stop telling me to eat
I want to be skinny for you.
You love the colors black and purple
so you paint them across my neck
only because I asked
Stop asking if I'm ok.
I want you to be happy
I love the feeling of acid eating at my teeth
My dyed hair falling out
you said you liked that color
so I like it too
smoke and vodka.
Stop worrying
I'm numb
I can't feel the pain
so let me be everything you want
I don't know anything
I'm nothing
dissociated.
Stop asking me to stop
I don't know what I'm doing
its ok
give in.
take all of me
because I know nothing else
Stop crying
I made this for you
I put myself in this perfect mold
and maybe if I stay in it long enough, it'll start to fit
mesmerizing.
the blood dripping down my arm
that's what you like, don't you?
Stop feeling bad
I shut it all off
mindless.
I'm nothing. take it
I was something, but I'm too tired for that now
breathe. My fingers are turning blue.
It's ok