Can the birds stop flocking for one second
and check for one missing flap?
I wouldn't say I know,
but I'm not sure if it's selfish to ask.
Wisdom dictates
"Oh yeah, you can ask for help,"
but forgot the error that it might not come.

I just want to scream so loud
that even the deaf would hear me
even for just a second,
I want the blind to look at me,
the mute to speak to me,
the crippled to stand up, walk to me and hug me.
Is it too much to ask to acknowledge me
as someone who exists?

Why do I feel like
it's an impossibility
to be given a second
of attention?

Am I really a tree that doesn't make a sound?
I've already fallen, but I'm waiting to see
if someone saw me at least stood up.

I feel like ****,
unimportant,
unworthy,
disposable,
dead.

I refused to die because you can't **** the same soul twice,
but in terms of killing me, I still haven't tried.

I want to implode and scream and tear my heart out;
I want to fly, fall down, break all my bones;
I want to do all of the bad things SO BAD
just to feel anything.

Nobody would witness anyway.
Nobody would check up on me and ask what's happening.
Nobody.

Am I really a nobody?

They said I matter, but do I really?

Matter, or mattered?

Help me...

...but I guess people already gave up reading midway.

No matter how loud I call for help,
they always chose to answer too late.

Here's to new collections of ugly scars.