From a young age
Younger than I should have been
I have suffered
My anxiety didn’t let me go out with friends
My depression didn’t want to.
My ADHD made school impossible.
And kickstarted my OCD.
But I kept all that to myself
So I was unable to burden those around me
I suffered everyday
And I thought I wanted it to go away
It’s all been with me for so long
People tell me it’ll make me strong
Could that be why I don’t want to let go
Why now that I have the chance
I can’t seem to stop feeling like I’ll be alone?
They are my monsters
But they are my company
They’re inside my head
I can’t imagine, what will I be?
When they’re not a part of me?
Who am I then, when my mask is so deep
And gets ripped out, exposing me?
I made my mask for others
Good enough.
But not so good they would stay.
Who did stay?
My monsters, my demons,
Call them what you may.
They stayed my whole life.
Do I want them to go away?