If I were to write a novel, it would probably be called, “Big Words Capitalism **** ****” It would make Nietzsche **** his pants I want to make enough money to settle uncomfortably until I **** my own pants And hopefully sell ten thousand hardcover copies It’s gonna be straight up philosophy and drugs So all the hipsters can pretend it changed their lives And when they get old and **** their pants like me, I won’t feel lonely
In my novel Fascism wouldn’t have lasted so ******* long Facism makes people feel lonely Makes people close their eyes
God is a fascist His secret was the Copy and Paste function He created the universe with Apple products On his MacBook Pro He held the command key Commanding all his people to copy and paste that ******* bible He shifted everything turned caps lock on and capitalized on all the cold ******* that took it seriously That’s how fascism works
In my novel, When my gravestone smokes the nicotine in my ashes The buzz will trickle down the economy Until the grassroots stir crazy And my ***, as it has always been, Will be the **** of the joke <finish cigarette here>
Trying to live on philosophy is like paying rent with minimum wage and forgetting about food You forget the basics and go straight to the hard stuff Trying to **** with philosophy is like taking a sword to bed If you get any head, it’ll just be the tip Trying to fight with philosophy is like bringing a ***** to a gunfight You might surprise the *******, but more than likely, you’re just waving something flimsy and obscene
Guess what God? I’m gonna write a novel, And you can try to hit control F To find out how I made it “work” And all you’re gonna find is that you’re a control ****
For those of you still with me All it took for me to write a novel was to blame God for **** I didn’t want to be responsible for Smoke a lot Trip on acid And travel the universe