As my head hits the pillow I remember
I’m in love with a girl who needs a lighter to feel
It hurts seeing her ache during every fleeting moment of sobriety
I watch her in the in between and realize this is how it works
She can’t go with out it
I can’t do what the liquor can
I can’t compete
It’s selfish, I know, to be angry at her
I try to understand, I really do
And I want to help
She is slipping out of my grasp
A weak branch is the only thing stopping her from falling off that cliff
And at any moment she could decide
It’s not worth it to hold on
Every time I see her I am filled with relief
And also regret
I know I will never be enough to make this go away
I wish I was enough
My thoughts look like angry scribbles on a torn sheet of paper
They are written in another language and so I decide
That’s enough thinking for tonight
And I go to sleep