Jul 2013
Who doesn’t think about death sometimes
Whether there is truly a heaven and/or a hell
If there’s really a bright light,
If you’ll see your ‘loved ones’ again,
Or if it’s really just lights out…
Like an eternal sleep kinda thing.
Being the capricious crazyhead that I can be,
I think different things at different times.
Sometimes I find myself fascinated by the subject,
Especially when I have an acute flair-up from my chronic trauma brain
And I’m unable to find even a moment of relief, mentally or physically.
It’s in those moments I wonder what it’s like to be ‘dead’.
No one really knows, right?
No one comes back after dying and says
“Hey – I was dead for 3 days and death is like club med!”
No one ever gets a postcard from someone who died that reads,
“It’s hot ~ bring a fan."
You don’t get an itinerary emailed to you a week prior to your death.
… there’s nothing ‘helpful’ so you can be ‘prepared’.
Late night conversation between the sane me and the crazy brain:
Crazybrain: Sometimes I think I’d like to die because I just need it to stop.
Sane Me: What do you think it’s like after you die?
Crazybrain: Quiet…nothing. I don’t really believe in reincarnation (I don’t think) but I can’t imagine death is worse than living like this.
Sane Me: But you don’t know that…what if death is worse than life? What if it’s worse?
Crazybrain: I don’t think it’s worse. (at this point, Crazybrain goes way off into left field, as she often does…) I sometimes think my dog is my grandfather reincarnated. He seems really sensitive to my feelings and always tries to comfort me when I’m sad or troubled. (of course, this statement was made AFTER Crazybrain just said that she didn’t think she believed in reincarnation. Told ya ~ Crazybrain’s thinking pattern can sometimes be a bit erratic.)
Sane Me: …Yeah, pets are sensitive to human emotions.
So last night I was once again contemplating what it’s like to be dead
(this was after cleaning my closet and finding a bottle of vicodin left over from some injury)
~ no ~ I did not take the vicodin.
Could death be worse than living like this
It strikes me funny:
The quality of life after death?
Is there a QUALITY of LIFE after death?
Or, are you just “dead”.
Whether there is truly a heaven and/or a hell
If there’s really a bright light,
If you’ll see your ‘loved ones’ again,
Or if it’s really just lights out…
Like an eternal sleep kinda thing.
Being the capricious crazyhead that I can be,
I think different things at different times.
Sometimes I find myself fascinated by the subject,
Especially when I have an acute flair-up from my chronic trauma brain
And I’m unable to find even a moment of relief, mentally or physically.
It’s in those moments I wonder what it’s like to be ‘dead’.
No one really knows, right?
No one comes back after dying and says
“Hey – I was dead for 3 days and death is like club med!”
No one ever gets a postcard from someone who died that reads,
“It’s hot ~ bring a fan."
You don’t get an itinerary emailed to you a week prior to your death.
… there’s nothing ‘helpful’ so you can be ‘prepared’.
Late night conversation between the sane me and the crazy brain:
Crazybrain: Sometimes I think I’d like to die because I just need it to stop.
Sane Me: What do you think it’s like after you die?
Crazybrain: Quiet…nothing. I don’t really believe in reincarnation (I don’t think) but I can’t imagine death is worse than living like this.
Sane Me: But you don’t know that…what if death is worse than life? What if it’s worse?
Crazybrain: I don’t think it’s worse. (at this point, Crazybrain goes way off into left field, as she often does…) I sometimes think my dog is my grandfather reincarnated. He seems really sensitive to my feelings and always tries to comfort me when I’m sad or troubled. (of course, this statement was made AFTER Crazybrain just said that she didn’t think she believed in reincarnation. Told ya ~ Crazybrain’s thinking pattern can sometimes be a bit erratic.)
Sane Me: …Yeah, pets are sensitive to human emotions.
So last night I was once again contemplating what it’s like to be dead
(this was after cleaning my closet and finding a bottle of vicodin left over from some injury)
~ no ~ I did not take the vicodin.
Could death be worse than living like this
It strikes me funny:
The quality of life after death?
Is there a QUALITY of LIFE after death?
Or, are you just “dead”.
