If only there was confessional
For atheists.
I wish Catholics didn’t hold an monopoly,
On old men stuffed in wooden boxes,
Who listen and offer a way out.

It would be nice to call a stranger,
Father, and list to him
All my perceived transgressions.
Stuck with me as I give,
A detailed report on all the ways I hate myself.

Put them on every street corner,
No one uses telephone booths
Anyways.
Confession; I am not, and
Have never been a Catholic.

But my life feels awfully close,
To one long Hail Mary.
So I wish Catholics didn’t hold a monopoly,
On old men stuffed in wooden boxes.
White collars pristine and choking back judgement.

Father, don’t cry for me,
Or try and lie about yours.
Just tell me what phrases,
To repeat 30 times so I know when,
I can stop flagellating myself.