Maybe if I would try harder someone would love me.
Maybe if I put on make-up and wore cute clothes people would notice me.
But even then, I don’t think I can shake off the ghost I’ve become.
Oh how I wish I could turn my heart to stone.
To freeze over its overpowering desires and become as hard and cold as a statue.
Because the pain of rejection and loneliness is not worth the idea of love.
Harden my heart, make me numb to it all-
because the constant drag of trying and failing, wanting but not receiving, praying with no answers.. is tearing me apart.