i hate who i am
when i am with you
i am aware of this
but i understand that i cannot leave you
for i am wired to want your love

i regress to the communication style
of a seven-year-old who was never taught
to emotionally regulate themselves
and i blame you for that
i am trying to heal and leave these cycles
but you make it difficult
when you shame me
and try to pull me back into your controlling embrace