Chasing memories
Through traffic lights
My feet kept running
And I ignored the signs
I could have loved you
But I didn't
And I've tried to forget you
But I couldn't.

Your face flashing by
Like pictures past
I tried to hold on
But what was cannot last
And things we never wanted to
Have come to pass
While we laid there in the grass
Barely eighteen
And holding the world
In our palms.

And now you've left town-
Like you said you would
But I'm still around
And I wish that I could
Have known
That being alone is the
Worst of all things.

I'm still here,
Lost in the haze of it
And I never want
What I have
(I know you know that
More than anyone)
The things I can't
Glow in the dark
Like false promises
And shining diamond rings.

You told me you'd stay
Forever once
(You truly believed I
Was the one)
And we laugh about that now
Because your dreams
Really did come true
In the city
Just like how
You told me you'd
Never seen someone
That pretty
Before in your life.

And deep down I knew
I would never have been
Happy with you
But I'm not happy
Without you
So where does that leave me
Now you're undeceived of me
And I'm the same
That I've always been
And feeling down because of it.

It's a messed up feeling
To want to be adored
But I hoard compliments
Like a magpie.
And my youth is all
I have
Until it dies
And I become a shell
Holding onto the
Nice things someone
Once said about me
And I believed.

Once again,
This is all about me
And the ways that
I feel unsteady
Without you.
But I can ask you
How you are
And we can both
Pretend I'm not
Falling apart
Before I'm twenty five
And still don't know
What it means
To feel alive.

The good in me has
Truly died mean
So I sit and dream
With my window ajar
And let the memories
Pick me apart
Playing like
A film we made
On our brick phones.

I still can't really say
I love you
But I can say that
I miss you.
My biggest fear
Is that you'll forget me
Maybe regret
That you ever met me
And that's the closest thing
To heartbreak
My soul will ever know.