TIME AS COMPROMISE

today is your birthday
i can't believe how much
time has passed- between us, a coming and going
all the years piled up in a rush, now
as my look back begins, it began with my head
now with my heart, ready
to rethink, challenge your memory, the push and pull

i may not have been
what you wanted, i succeeded
just the same, beyond both our expectations
- still our connection to each other- or the lack there of
how we used the strangled, misused words, to describe
love, acceptance, understanding, caring, with our pained faces
scrunched, because neither of us would not budge, we drew a line
not to cross, you and i,  cut from the same cloth, agree to disagree
and each morning as i look at myself in the mirror, i see you, me
staring back, funny how that turned out,  so as i look
deep into your eyes, my wish on this  birthday, is that, if only
we had crossed that line then, taken the same side, i would not
have had to write about you years later, so candidly, still i am ready to shake myself free of continued guilt, and as time passes to
lessen the weight felt,  if  only you could have done the same
instead of leaving me here to hang on to empty space, between
here and there, so i will  continue to stare into the mirror looking
wishing, waiting, i hope to see some day that look in your eyes
ready and willing once and for all, as your sign of our shared compromise

by Michael Perry