I thought I was done experiencing this loneliness

I thought it was over
that I could continue choosing to see and be seen
and I wouldn't feel it anymore

But I can't do anything about this
it's not me
I'm not choosing this
this feeling of intense isolation
it takes months to be built
who knows how long to tear down
again

again

I'm exhausted.

I feel an elastic bubble inches around my entire self
separating me
I push and push and push and nothing breaks it only bends with me and I'm trapped