Feb 2021
I think I want to get high
I’m tired of just getting by
Tired of sippin’ from the bottle then spitting it back in
Because I can’t commit to the sin.
Then again it’s all in my head
The purples and blues turn red
Bright red filled with white lies
But aren’t they really black lies?
How many white must be told
Before they see through their blindfold
I think I’ve told a few
But then again I thought I knew
What it felt like to do more than make do.
The truth is I don’t think I’ve ever loved, lived, or lossed
But I’ve felt hate
And rage and seen fake
Short and thin
The ones who think that they always win
Until the lemons life gave them turn sour
And their lost and alone, powerless to my power
You see I dream of my revenge, and I dream of my redemption
But how do I know I’ll get there if I can’t get past this depression.
Quantity over quality
I can’t stand their dark comedy
It depresses me, distresses me,
There’s no warranty on life, so think smart
I’m not gonna judge you, I just won’t take part
Here I go again with the truth
A simili to mental abuse
I find it easier to hold it all in
All those things they call feelin
All those things they call pain
When it comes to deception I will win that game.
This smile on my face, I’ll go with the cliche of the mask
But when it’s on and I look at the glass
I see it half full,
Room to live and room to grow
But when I’m alone,
And I’m always alone,
I see the glass half empty, the room caved in
The hourglass almost empty and a point up pin
That maybe I’ll ***** my finger on
And fall into eternal sleep my existence eternally gone.
Maybe that dark is better than light
But I’m afraid of it every night
What comes after, what’s beyond
Sometimes I think it’s easier to just believe in a God
Because at least I’d have answers then
Not all these fears and poisons.
I think I’m afraid of everything
Death, life, truth, snorkeling
To share, snakes, rats, bugs, and bats
To make a mistake, to fail, to cut my finger on glass
I call it panophobia,
The foundation of a utopia
But perfect doesn’t exist and life is filled with rejection,
So at least I am not afraid of perfection.
I’m tired of just getting by
Tired of sippin’ from the bottle then spitting it back in
Because I can’t commit to the sin.
Then again it’s all in my head
The purples and blues turn red
Bright red filled with white lies
But aren’t they really black lies?
How many white must be told
Before they see through their blindfold
I think I’ve told a few
But then again I thought I knew
What it felt like to do more than make do.
The truth is I don’t think I’ve ever loved, lived, or lossed
But I’ve felt hate
And rage and seen fake
Short and thin
The ones who think that they always win
Until the lemons life gave them turn sour
And their lost and alone, powerless to my power
You see I dream of my revenge, and I dream of my redemption
But how do I know I’ll get there if I can’t get past this depression.
Quantity over quality
I can’t stand their dark comedy
It depresses me, distresses me,
There’s no warranty on life, so think smart
I’m not gonna judge you, I just won’t take part
Here I go again with the truth
A simili to mental abuse
I find it easier to hold it all in
All those things they call feelin
All those things they call pain
When it comes to deception I will win that game.
This smile on my face, I’ll go with the cliche of the mask
But when it’s on and I look at the glass
I see it half full,
Room to live and room to grow
But when I’m alone,
And I’m always alone,
I see the glass half empty, the room caved in
The hourglass almost empty and a point up pin
That maybe I’ll ***** my finger on
And fall into eternal sleep my existence eternally gone.
Maybe that dark is better than light
But I’m afraid of it every night
What comes after, what’s beyond
Sometimes I think it’s easier to just believe in a God
Because at least I’d have answers then
Not all these fears and poisons.
I think I’m afraid of everything
Death, life, truth, snorkeling
To share, snakes, rats, bugs, and bats
To make a mistake, to fail, to cut my finger on glass
I call it panophobia,
The foundation of a utopia
But perfect doesn’t exist and life is filled with rejection,
So at least I am not afraid of perfection.
