I've been to camp, I've had roommates, I've lived with my parents

but I've never lived alone.

I've never had to think what's for dinner in a way where I walk into the supermarket and am planning dinner for the whole week
I've never had to worry about a leak in the bathroom a counter that wasn't fully clean.
Now I sound like some rich kid with maids- I wasn't. I would take out the trash at home get the mail do the dishes. But it wasn't more than a chore something I would do to get my allowance to help out my mom or just be useful with my free time.

Now I am an adult. I wash my dishes. I take out the trash. I worry about forgetting to lock my apartment. I go to work in the morning and return at night. And after 19 years of company in my home I sit down for dinner alone.

listening to the whir of my computer as I try to connect with my home my family my friends even a random stranger to cleanse this loneliness of mine.