As I stay on the shallow edges, I dove deeper to fail again. But that's not the worse part. It gets deeper and darker. I guess that's why the water waves at me. A wave to remind me I can still drown, but I've got to hold my breath. I take a drink for a relief. But I can't accomplish anything without diving deeper. People don't realize **** because I've noticed they're a heavier sleeper. Some even have the luxury of a boat with a life jacket. I'm doing this without safety precautions and I manage make it safe to the shore. Still scared but I fight to make myself stronger because I don't want to fight fear anymore. I can't drown myself, but others have anchored me down. Doomed and suffering but I've learned to swim so for a bit I'm safe and sound. I'll surf the waves in attempt to figure if it's waving hello or goodbye. I'll take that risk and give it a try. What's the worse that can happen? Rock bottom? Even the shores aren't safe.