sitting on my desk trying to write a paper
my ritalin wearing off
its 9pm and i don't know how much longer until my eyes will close
there's a voice in my head
it talks to me
the only comfort i have during quarantine
tells me to keep going, do not stop
remember what you’re doing this for
for the heart of spain, the only one that does not stop

my mindset going down like a GPA
it used to be 3.9
but like my desire to be dead at this point
makes it go down to 3.5
winter makes it harder to breathe
it’s getting colder, I feel number
my mind is frozen like a piece of ice
not to mention to know the feeling of suicide
time has stopped in my world
the only clock ticking is the countdown to may
there’s a blade against my wrist
it likes to give me wounds

fight this pain
you are worth more
your future lies in the hands of that number on the walls of your college counselors door
I love you
please stay strong
you almost made it
and then you’re free and gone