Thirteen Years

There was a time when I lived to hurt
I reveled in the sadness on peoples faces
From the detached flesh on my face to the blood on my shirt
All I wanted was to switch places

I wanted a way out when I picked up a knife
I wanted an end to my pointless life
I wallowed in self pitty and pushed away the hands that wanted to help me out of my hole
But a ***** remained in the hand of a fool
I cut without remorse the flesh of my arm
I lived heart and mind to cause everyone harm
I picked up the remains of my mothers heart and threw them into the fire
But all I was doing was lighting my own pire

No one ever gave up on me though my chances were running out
They saw the good in a monster full of self doubt
To this day I do not understand how its lasted so long
The human spirit is indeed strong

Through the times was the magic number five
One hundred niney eight scars it took to appreciate being alive
I picked up the shattered pieces of the glass house I destroyed
The scaring of lives at the time I enjoyed

I took apart my life but am working to fix it again
Thirteen years it took for my humanity to mend
A simple man with a heart once made of ebony stone
Took thirteen years to finally atone

I've used my story to save a life already
To teach others not to rush to take it steady
For a life is something of priceless value
Its not the place of others to doubt you
Your life is your own do with it what you will
I know now blood is nothing to spill

As I layed on the kitchen floor bleeding out
Or as I jumped into the night without doubt
As I threw my life into a blender and the rest of me too
With my story in hand I come to you

I took what I was given but always wanted more
I was simply a monster to my core
But no longer I say not anymore
My mended wings aim to soar

A story of how a monster became a man is told
One of how a man watched things unfold
But I value all that I have now
That is my truth this is my vow

We are all different are many ways
But we share a beating heart and the ability to praise
Don't cling to the past though not forgotten we must move on
We must take what we've made for ourselves and stay strong

This is the story of a man climbing out of a hole
This is the tale of a mended soul
This is a tool made to teach life's not so bad
For I am one who is no longer sad
This is one of how a man fell from glory
This is the truth and this is my story