you lost the war that was created in you, not by your hands but by the hands of someone who once spoke soft words in your ear
and kissed your neck that smelled of crimson roses and the prominent fragrence of dolce and gabanna
he spoke of dreams you buried in the back of your brain, he spoke beautiful words to you that were never sustained

you keep lying to yourself, saying that he loves you..
i don't remember love being a black eye, cuts upon the flesh, or broad holes in the wall..
put there by his fist.. put there by his hands.
I don't remember love being screamed at vehemently at 2 in the morning because you wanted to give him a kiss

you spent years drowning yourself to keep him alive
he talked of how worthless he was, how inconvient he was
and needless to say you tried your best to make him see that he was more

but in the end..

he did not love you. he does not love you
he loved the way you loved him, he loved the way you touched him
he loved that you accepted all of his flaws, while society teras him down for it
but darling, loving him is like drinking bleach expecting it not to **** you.

it does. and he did
he killed everything about you..
he killed your smile, he killed your laughter, he killed your charming soul

but really, the moment you loved him is what killed you.


-s