I remember thinking, "I want a guy to look at me the way Romeo looks at Juliet"
but doesn't every girl?
doesn't every girl want to be sleeping beauty, and her prince charming comes
and rescues her?

the answer, is yes.
but the men that come, that want to "save" you, also
want to burn you, they want to violate you, they want to give you everything
you don't want.

they want to touch your beautiful skin and tell you just how pretty you are,
but only, as you undress.
they want to admire your soul and your mind but only as long as you're giving something in return
they want to tell you everything you want to hear as a young woman that just wants to be loved,
such as;

"you're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen"
" God I'm speechless at your beauty"
" I could never love another the way that I love you"


do not give yourself away to men who only seek lust
do not give part of your soul or mind to men that don't deserve
to even be in the presence of you.

you’re exquisite, you’re art.
Do not let any man **** up your canvas.

Dear Man on the moon,
Is it peaceful from where you sit? or
Is it loud like the crickets at night?

Do you watch the stars and the planets like they’re your children?
Do you admire them like you would your first love?
Do you wish you lived down here on earth?

With the butterflies that are simply beautiful
And the humans that are simply destructive.

Dear man on the moon,
I wish I was you. .

If I could write to a butterfly,
What would I say?

I would speak of how radiantly beautiful she is,
How it is breath taking to watch her flap her wings
as the sun glistens off of them

I would tell her, do not try to cover your beauty
because you want to look as admirable as a blue jay bird
i would tell her, do not compare yourself,
because just because something is beautiful doesn’t give your beauty
any less value.

I would tell her, that she was perfect
Even before she grew wings,
Even when she was just a caterpillar, she was still magnificent.

All women should know this.

Dear drugs,
         Heroine
         *******
         ****
         ****
      
                       you’re no good for me, we both know that.
Yet we still fight this battle with our loved ones, because we want to be together.

you’re no good for me and that is why I run to you with open arms
I run to you because it seems that you’re all I have in my loneliest of hours.

The hours that my demons love, they love to feed off the fear of me not having you.
The hours where I curl in a ball because i’m shaking.. because I need you. I need you so bad.

But you’re so wrong for me, aren’t you?

I need you to release me from the pain I feel, I count on you to take me somewhere else.
I need you I need you I need you

****, I need you so bad.
but…

if I need you.
Then who needs me?

Dear person, you'll come save me, won't you?
come save me from the pain that lives in these cement walls,
come save me from the chains that are locked to the bed frame with blood stains,
come save me from the dark figure that comes into my room at night to carry
my beautiful dreams away in a little box.

he say's I can't have those...

you'll come save me, won't you?
come save me from the bruises that rest upon my legs and frail body every morning I awake

I don't know how they got there... do you?

Come save me from the mutilation of my body when he rapes me
it hurts, please come save me.
come save me from his fist that seem to be a perfect match for my face.
come save me from him, he's scary.

come save me from the abuse,
come save me from the absolute destruction of me.

you'll come save me, won't you?

...Hello?

I used to think i had the power to heal wounds
i used to believe i had the power to heal broken souls
and I used to think i had the power to be okay loving someone who's heart was made of coal


Loving you, meant writing my feelings down on paper
never being able to confide in you about the empty abyss I had fallen into
Loving you meant, turning to blades with open arms
cutting wounds so deep they leave scars


I once thought i could save you
i had one glimpse of your smile, then after, i started to crave you
You were breath taking, you were a mirage of every beautiful flower, every beautiful color, every beautiful memory a child keeps locked in their brain
that is... until you weren't.


Yes, you were golden honey at the fingertips, but at the same time you were destructive
you were like poetry, you rolled off my tongue with such vibrance and ease
loving you wasn't hard at all.. because you needed saving.
You learned I was a healer, I wanted to heal you
but in the end, it was me who needed saving, it was me who now needed healing

because of the damage that came with loving you.

I look at your hands, the way they crease so perfectly
the way your fingernails are always so perfectly fined
and the way your fingertips feel like soft petals caressing my naked body


But then,  



I look at your hands, the way they ball up when you're angry
the way they dent the wall when you don't take your medicine
and the way they bruise my body when you've had too much to drink

most, often say that loving someone can be beautiful like amber roses in the fall
and it can. but not for me.
you took that experience from me, you took the meaning of "Love" and turned it into blades that drip blood
you turned it into bruises, scars, and pain.

I will never forgive you for that.