Sometimes the chapter doesn’t end the way you predicted
It’s on a cliff hanger but you can’t read ahead
Because it’s not time yet
You’re too tired
You need rest
But what the hell comes next
And you’ll lose a little bit of sleep over it
But isn’t that life?
You make your bed, you lay in it
But your dreams aren’t always pleasant.
What the **** is up with soggy pizza, anyway?
Walked out on a peer
Expecting you to be there
But all I saw was a girl, drunk
With some lake water logged dough.
She offered me some, but I passed her up
And proceeded down the planks to find you
But I couldn’t go any further because it ended
At the dark, murky edge.
****, I see your hands when I look at mine
And you are standing in front of me
When I close my eyes.
Coming face with reality,
But what is it anyway?
Woke up and felt like these past months were all a dream
2019
All the agony
Of losing you
Was all I felt to be true.
Emotional distress,
Was what I saw in my lack of rest.
A million tear meltdown
I just cried
These past two years held inside

And there’s that whisper, be here now
Even in the darkness
These shadows of pain
And psychological disdain

It’ll be okay, it’ll be okay
It’s not the end
Just a new beginning
That hurts as bad
And it’s the past that makes me sad
Much more than the present
Maybe it’s about time I let it go, I let you go
And even when I can’t seem to
What else is there to do?
Just feel it out,
Ride it out,
These Ocean waves
Tumbling me across
The Stormy seas
It’s much more than the gentle breeze
I felt when I caressed your face
While getting lost in your gaze.
I thought I was ready for this
But all I wanted was the bliss
Holding you close, heart on the mend
Now alone with my own dread
Waking up
With nightmares of you dying,
And me without you, crying.