and how i sat on the cement
in the freezing cold
in the pouring rain
with my ripped tights
and short black skirt
feeling like a ****
or something close
with my tongue wagging
and eyes filled with confusion
and fire
i didn't care that i would
probably wake up with a cold
and most definitely regret this
tomorrow
or that
at this point
i might as well have stripped naked
because it wasn't
doing me any good staying in drenched clothes
and my boots were soaked
as my eyes had been for days
and months
before you came
and you were staring at me
the way you always did
that ******* look UNDID me
for so long
****** everything that i had planned
to feel
not to feel
to the point where i could
redo that face
myself
to myself
in the mirror
analyzed you to a T
you who thought you had me figured
out head to toe
i know you better than you know yourself
take that ******* elsewhere baby because
i've had enough of it
what i thought
what i said went something along the lines of
cue: blush
cue: eye flutter
i know you do
you always have
cue: shy smile
yet i still sat on that moldy ******* concrete
with goosebumps on parts of my body
i didn't even know i had
bones drenched
soaking w e t
and ******* for another 4 months.