Your hair gleams a different shade
In the sunlight than I've ever seen;
It stuns me at my core
To where I am lost for words,
Until I’m able to find my resolve again,
And pretend that the stars strike me more.

Your brown eyes seem to pierce my soul,
Even from five thousand miles away.
I couldn’t possibly lie to you.
It takes my breath from my lungs,
And the color changes in my face.

Not enough for anyone to see,
Except your windows
That see right through me,
And I realize only now
That your blinds are closed.

I wonder what you are afraid of,
Me or society?
But still you peek through,
Eyes on me,
And mine on you.

But now I know why
You never let me in:
You fear yourself,
Not those who wave at you
From the streetlights smiling with sin.

Built up to be broken
Is what they taught,
And the thought
That nobody will stay
Is hidden behind the blinds.

If you let me in,
Maybe I could show you
How just a hug
Can change your mind,
But you promised me.

“I am nothing,”
Is what you said
And for you to be nothing
Would make nothing, to me,
Worth everything.

And I can't help
These twitches in my chin
And my hands holding either side
As my tears penetrate through
These once-strong hands.

I couldn’t save you
From the sorrow you’ve
Weathered behind your blinds
Closing off your soul
And I am left shaking…

I am defeated, as life defeated you.
I am breaking, as life broke you.
I am gasping for air, as you breathe no more.
I am alone with your ghost,
That will haunt me until I finally
Decide to knock on your door.

And I wonder how long it’ll take me.