my roommate, dread.

i have a roommate in my head.

their name is dread. i can’t remember where they came from. they just arrived one day and never left.

we don’t talk. i don’t think we ever have. i’ll be honest. i don’t like dread much. whenever they come out from their darkened, cold, sad room, they bring this intense aura of stomach illness, loneliness, anxiety, stress and depression. they stay around me for a while, spreading this aura all over my head until it is almost unbearable. then they leave. back into their black abyss and lock the doors.

i’ve tried to kick them out. tried to explain it’s not working out, us being roommates. they just promise to be better. it works for a while. they’ll leave the home that is my mind for days, even weeks, at a time. i always wonder what they’re up to. i can’t help but feel worry. i worry about their safety. i feel a deep sadness when they leave.

because even though they bring me such misery when they’re around me, i can’t help but feel comfort when i know that dread is still here and just a few feet away locked in their room. maybe one day i will be able to move on and break free from the shackles that dread has on my life.

»a.n.o’h.